Saturday, May 16
Some ask, "Norm and Pam, how do you spend all those hours in the car?" Well, at first we tried car games like "I Spy" and "Beaver", but they proved alarmingly distracting in an environment made difficult enough what with the many graphically cryptic road signs and all written stuff being in an alien language. More importantly, our respective jobs as Pilot (Norm) and Navigator (Pam) are all consuming.
Norm's job as Pilot is to steer, shift, avoid obstacles and make sure the various rear view mirrors are clean and properly set. A mighty responsibility, which is why Pilot is the true Master of the car domain.
Navigator takes orders from Pilot and in return gives Pilot sound advice. To assist in doing so, Navigator is responsible for the 350 page Michelin European Road Atlas, large sheet maps of each country being traveled through and the Garmin GPS backup to the Peugeot's SatNav system. Navigator is responsible for programming the SatNav system, as well as interpreting its many arcane symbols, instructions and French quirks. Navigator must know when to override SatNav if it is having a "Hal" moment. Navigator provides accurate road data to Pilot real time, all the time, error free, even when the car is entering a roundabout with other cars honking, the SatNav having a silence hissy fit and Pilot shouting for help in Navigator's ear. Navigator shall also provide promptly to Pilot upon demand a sugar-free candy in Pilot's choice of color to suck on. Navigator must also insure that the music mix from the MP3 stick consists of at least 10, but not more than 15 minutes of soothing Peruvian flute music per hour.
In all of this Navigator shall receive real time performance assessments from Pilot. The grades of Navigator 1st thru 5th class have been established through which Navigator may progress, either up or down, depending upon the latest success or failure in mission performance. It is possible for Navigator to cycle through the grades several times a day. A petition by Navigator to Pilot to delete a 6th classification, that of "Cigarette Girl", was accepted by Pilot under pressure, said classification having represented total demotion below Navigator status following a particularly egregious failure on Navigator's part. In return Pilot requests that Navigator, when proffering a requested sugar-free candy to Pilot, refrain from muttering "suck on this!" under her breath.
Now, back to the question, "How do we spend all those hours in the car?"
Pilot and Navigator still smiling before heading out for the day:
Some ask, "Norm and Pam, how do you spend all those hours in the car?" Well, at first we tried car games like "I Spy" and "Beaver", but they proved alarmingly distracting in an environment made difficult enough what with the many graphically cryptic road signs and all written stuff being in an alien language. More importantly, our respective jobs as Pilot (Norm) and Navigator (Pam) are all consuming.
Norm's job as Pilot is to steer, shift, avoid obstacles and make sure the various rear view mirrors are clean and properly set. A mighty responsibility, which is why Pilot is the true Master of the car domain.
Navigator takes orders from Pilot and in return gives Pilot sound advice. To assist in doing so, Navigator is responsible for the 350 page Michelin European Road Atlas, large sheet maps of each country being traveled through and the Garmin GPS backup to the Peugeot's SatNav system. Navigator is responsible for programming the SatNav system, as well as interpreting its many arcane symbols, instructions and French quirks. Navigator must know when to override SatNav if it is having a "Hal" moment. Navigator provides accurate road data to Pilot real time, all the time, error free, even when the car is entering a roundabout with other cars honking, the SatNav having a silence hissy fit and Pilot shouting for help in Navigator's ear. Navigator shall also provide promptly to Pilot upon demand a sugar-free candy in Pilot's choice of color to suck on. Navigator must also insure that the music mix from the MP3 stick consists of at least 10, but not more than 15 minutes of soothing Peruvian flute music per hour.
In all of this Navigator shall receive real time performance assessments from Pilot. The grades of Navigator 1st thru 5th class have been established through which Navigator may progress, either up or down, depending upon the latest success or failure in mission performance. It is possible for Navigator to cycle through the grades several times a day. A petition by Navigator to Pilot to delete a 6th classification, that of "Cigarette Girl", was accepted by Pilot under pressure, said classification having represented total demotion below Navigator status following a particularly egregious failure on Navigator's part. In return Pilot requests that Navigator, when proffering a requested sugar-free candy to Pilot, refrain from muttering "suck on this!" under her breath.
Now, back to the question, "How do we spend all those hours in the car?"
Pilot and Navigator still smiling before heading out for the day:
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